


Four Times Dean Watched Sam Die (and one that he didn't)

by lunabee34 (Lorraine)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 08:00:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1379971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lorraine/pseuds/lunabee34
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just what it says on the tin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Times Dean Watched Sam Die (and one that he didn't)

1\. When Sam dies, Dean is old. Dean’s hands shake slightly and so he’s finally stopped carrying a gun; the hair at his temples is thin, but the ladies don’t seem to mind much, and he’s still got the teeth God gave him. Bobby is years in the ground and so are Ellen and Missouri. Sam doesn’t show for lunch and he doesn’t answer his phone and Dean’s knees ache when he takes Sam’s stairs two at a time. Sam is in bed, and his sill isn’t lined with sulfur and his face is lined with age instead of pain. 

2\. Sam takes a long time to die. Long enough that he calls all their contacts with final messages that Dean thinks sound like a twelve-step program. Long enough that Dean hauls him across the country to say goodbye to Sarah. Dean watches Sam swallow one blue, two white, and one yellow pill every morning with his coffee. He watches his brother grow thin and frail. Dean doesn’t tell Sam, but he prays sometimes now. He doesn’t know how good his prayers are since God probably doesn’t respond to, “Please, you sadistic bastard,” but Dean is running out of options.

3\. When Sam dies, Dean is busy dying himself. They are sprawled on the damp concrete of a suburban basement and Dean can’t move his legs. “We wasted that fucker, Sammy,” he wheezes out, blood thicker in his mouth than spit. “Yeah, we did,” Sam whispers. He smiles at Dean, but Sam’s face is ruined and it hurts Dean to see so he concentrates on the faint pressure of Sam’s hand in his own instead. They’re quiet after that. The edges of Dean’s vision begin to blacken, spiraling down to nothingness, but he can feel Sam’s hand to the last.

4\. Sam dies at 4:20 on a Friday. Andy jokes around at the funeral, but he’s crying when he makes the crack so Dean doesn’t punch him. Later, Bobby salts Sam, the grains pooling in his open palms, and Dean vomits into the grass when he realizes he’s already thinking _body_ and _corpse_ instead of _Sammy_ and _brother_. Dean watches until there’s nothing left to burn and then he digs Sam’s grave alone. When he’s done, he can think of nothing to say to Sam that Sam doesn’t already know, so he shovels the dirt over his brother’s ashes in silence.

5\. When Sam dies, Dean doesn’t know because he goes first.


End file.
